The 25 Bro Laws [Explicit]

Bro Law

1) It is not acceptable to ask a girl you are interested in out on a date if said girl is also the love interest of your 1st degree friend.

Exception: The only time it is legal to invite her out is when the said girl shows little or no interest in your 1st degree friend despite him pushing the boundaries of socially acceptable behavior for at least 3 months with the backing of at least 3 other bros.

2) When your bro is courting an attractive female, it is your responsibility to ensure that the universe conspires to make them an item.

Exception: Given that the aforementioned lady friend of your bro is deemed unacceptable
by you and 3 other bros, you have veto power to not help your bro in such a
situation.

3) A cougar is defined as a lady who instills both fear and physical attractiveness at first sight.
She should not be approached singly by a bro. It is vital to have another bro ever ready to rescue him from publicly lowering his self esteem.

4) It is not permissible to intentionally/unintentionally to gaze at another bro when he is only wearing undergarments no matter what the circumstances might be.

5) Sharing of food is allowed and encouraged amongst bros. However it is strictly prohibited for one bro to drink directly from the milk carton of another bro. Sharing straws amongst bro is considered unmanly as it involves the sharing of bodily fluids which indirectly gives an impression of gayness.

6) When bunking in together with another bro, it is unethical to release flatulence under the sheets. If aforementioned action was carried out, it is within the other bro's right to demand that he might find another sleeping place.

7) Here are the topics which are allowed in any bro meetings:

Attractive women
The "Hey Gay" reflex game
Marvel action heroes
Batman
Any form of sports ( netball and cheer leading excluded)
How I Met Your Mother
Scrubs
Carl Junior's
Donuts
Double entendre / innuendos
David Cook's songs
Beer
i.e. anything that does not involve much use of the cerebrum and occupies 2 seconds of our time

8) Here are the topics which are not allowed in any bro discussions:

Girl problems (unless its sexually related)
Emotional mumbo-jumbo
Potted plants
Best friend's mum's boobs
Best friend's ex girlfriend's boobs
How tight SuperMan's underwear is
How tight another bro's pants are
Excessive usage of the High Five
Anything that requires an attention span of 5 seconds

9) On regards to "ditching" defined as leaving another Bro (the ditchee) for something that will only benefit the ditcher bro. This offense gives the Ditchee the right of using the term Ditch Bitch towards the Ditcher bro for a maximum period of 3 days.

10) In any event of an interesting interaction between to females, i.e. catfight in a club, it is a bro's duty to inform other bro's regarding this event.

11) In an event of a fisticuff between one bro and another man, it is required that the observing bro have an empty beer bottle ready to "equalize" the situation.

12) It is regarded un-bro-ly to register your bro's pet dog to participate a dog-fight for monetary purposes.

13) The word "Gay" can be used to describe aforementioned topics:

Another bro if he wears anything with flowers or the excessive use of florescent pink
Rocky IV
The youtube phenomenon "What What in the Butt?"
Bowties
Super tight crotch stretching pants
Liking any other EPL team other than Man Utd.
Praising Chritiano Ronaldo based ONLY on his good looks
Not liking www.kennysia.com
Not liking SouthPark
Thinking that Tera Patrick is ugly

14) Bros before hos, unless they take off their clothes. 98% of the ho's clothes must be off in order for the 'unless they take off their clothes' clause to take effect. The most they should have on is a nice pair of socks. The removal of clothes must take place within a two minute period.

15) Any respectful bro should not mess with his bro's sister, be she ho or not. Here are the circumstances in which it is ok

The bro did your sister at one point and the ho and/or yourself is intoxicated
Revenge
Vacation/military leave
If he is ok with it
He did your sister at one point and she just turned 18
She’s in desperate need of some ho’ing
He doesn’t know about it. "If the bro don't know, you go for the ho."

16) No hos shall be invited to bro events including, but not limited to, video game parties, sports parties, fireworks extravaganzas and beer pong tourneys.

17) "Internet Fights" are a waste of every involved bros' time and should be avoided at all costs. The only thing that can be proved during an "Internet Fight" is who has the ability to type faster. "Internet Fights" do not prove masculinity, sexual orientation, gender, occupation, or strength

18) No bro shall take action in "cock blocking" another bro. This is unfair to all bros. Bros should always work as a team, and therefore, cock blocking is an unfair move. Here are the circumstances in which cock blocking is allowed.

In the best interest of the bro
The ho has an STD
The ho is a crazy bitch
The ho has a large boyfriend
Your bro is heavily intoxicated and “mackin on a 'lagoon creature'”
The ho is one ugly ho
The bro is taking one for the team therefore saving other bro’s from “mackin on a Lagoon creature”
The bro is being a profound penis and just punishment is moving in on his ho, provided the ho is not in a relationship with the bro being cock blocked.
If this "ho" is really a bro and your bro dont know.

19) Under no circumstances is any form of rape acceptable. Even if the ho is sexy as fuck and lying passed out naked.

20) Removal of clothing in the presence of other bros is NOT acceptable unless its in the locker room, for public showers, or for shirts vs. skins games.

21) If a bro accidently or otherwise glances at another bro's penis, he is to buy that bro whatever alcohol the offended bro likes. And ridiculed for as long as other bros feel like ridiculing him.

22) Chain letters are to be ignored by all bros at all cost.

23) Phone conversations with hos during bro time must be kept to less than 2 minutes or a maximum of 30 words (whichever occurs first), unless pre-approved by the bros involved. Even with approval, bros have the right to insult the bro on the phone with his ho, for his lack of prioritizing.

24) If the Ho sends a text message, the bro has a TWO text response limit. If this limit is passed, the surrounding bros are entitled to steal the bros phone and shut it off. If he turns it back on, the bros are entitled to do with it as they please.

25) No bro shall engage in sex involving multiple penises.

Now you know bro law enough to be a bro lawyer.

lawl cock blocking

Rofl at number 15. It seems like it's anytime o.o

yeah i laughed pretty much at most of these.

Bros love bros too much.

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